Innocently sitting in a room with my elderly (and smoking, may I mention) family this night, my breaths shorten and deep breaths were as impossible to accomplish as jumping off the Eiffel tower and surviving. I told my mom I wasn't able to breath right, and she took me outside for fresh air and gave me a little does of some sort of something to help me relax.
Then, I sob, at the here-and-gone memory of using a nebulizer (old-fashion inhaler) as a child. The taste and pressurized feel of the dreaded heavy machine races back to me. I can feel it in the back of my throat. I want to hurl over and barf. I then begin crying. My gasp-filled sobs aren't helping the matter, because the more I cried, the more often the feeling came to me.
I was born with asthma. After about five years of age, it had gone away. Tonight, I got quite a scare from a very asthma-attack like feeling. I can't say if it was or not, I can't really tell. But it sure felt like I wasn't going to live to tell about it.
Coughing and taking breaths right now is really hard to do, because there's a pain in my chest, and the more I cough or take a deep breath, I feel the pain in my chest all over again. I'm going to sleep with both of my windows open to circulate air or something, and try to sleep through the night, without being superficially paranoid about practically dying.
Wish me well (:
Horchata, Vampire Weekend.
Today me and a lot of my family, and even some I'm unfamiliar with, went to a nature reserve in Derby. Me and Tanner ate enough to shut everyone else up, and went on the trail.
"Did you eat?"
"Yeah."
"Did you get enough? Do you want more?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"Ok, are you sure?"
"Yeah."
We walked a lot, and burned like fifty million calories. We stopped to sit at a bench, and we did a lot of important discussing. We went back to our tables, and ate some cake and drunk some pop and went back. We turned back around and went back to the bench we were on first. I'm still convinced it wasn't the same bench, but ah well. He flirted with some butterflies and I tried to avoid them touching me because they're bugs and that's gross.
"It touched my nose! Twice!"
"Ew!"
"Did you see them swirl over our heads?"
"No."
"You missed it!"
Lol he's something else. We sat on that bench, talking about important matter, kissing and flicking away bugs. Watching the butterflies, listening for deer. That is my new happy place. I always imagined it being out in the open, under the sun. No trees, just me and the ground and the clouds. But now it's in a secluded, bug-filled environment, with my love, soaking up the shadows and chattering about everything under the sun. I don't know if I could have a happy place without my love being there.
Anyway. People came for us, and we left. I slept on Tanner's lap on the ride home lol :D
Today me and a lot of my family, and even some I'm unfamiliar with, went to a nature reserve in Derby. Me and Tanner ate enough to shut everyone else up, and went on the trail.
"Did you eat?"
"Yeah."
"Did you get enough? Do you want more?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"Ok, are you sure?"
"Yeah."
We walked a lot, and burned like fifty million calories. We stopped to sit at a bench, and we did a lot of important discussing. We went back to our tables, and ate some cake and drunk some pop and went back. We turned back around and went back to the bench we were on first. I'm still convinced it wasn't the same bench, but ah well. He flirted with some butterflies and I tried to avoid them touching me because they're bugs and that's gross.
"It touched my nose! Twice!"
"Ew!"
"Did you see them swirl over our heads?"
"No."
"You missed it!"
Lol he's something else. We sat on that bench, talking about important matter, kissing and flicking away bugs. Watching the butterflies, listening for deer. That is my new happy place. I always imagined it being out in the open, under the sun. No trees, just me and the ground and the clouds. But now it's in a secluded, bug-filled environment, with my love, soaking up the shadows and chattering about everything under the sun. I don't know if I could have a happy place without my love being there.
Anyway. People came for us, and we left. I slept on Tanner's lap on the ride home lol :D
I love you Tanner ♥
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These stanzas from White Houses by Vanessa Carlon will pretty much cover everything about my day's experience.
Luckily, Tanner's decided he's too smart to actually have sinned.
I love you, Tanner (: ♥
Maybe I'm a little bit over my head
I come undone at the things he said
And he's so funny in his bright red shirt
We were all in love and we all got hurt
I sneak into his car's cracked leather seat
The smell of gasoline in the summer heat
Boy, we're going way too fast
It's all too sweet to last
It's alright
And I put myself in his hands
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses
Love, or something ignites in my veins
And I pray it never fades in white houses
My first time, hard to explain
Rush of blood, oh, and a little bit of pain
On a cloudy day, it's more common than you think
He's my first mistake
I come undone at the things he said
And he's so funny in his bright red shirt
We were all in love and we all got hurt
I sneak into his car's cracked leather seat
The smell of gasoline in the summer heat
Boy, we're going way too fast
It's all too sweet to last
It's alright
And I put myself in his hands
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses
Love, or something ignites in my veins
And I pray it never fades in white houses
My first time, hard to explain
Rush of blood, oh, and a little bit of pain
On a cloudy day, it's more common than you think
He's my first mistake
Luckily, Tanner's decided he's too smart to actually have sinned.
I love you, Tanner (: ♥
Gary, Garret-sorta, Tanner, and me :D
Lol this was the highlight of my day (: Thanks guys ;D
I love you, Tanner :D ♥
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Lol this was the highlight of my day (: Thanks guys ;D
I love you, Tanner :D ♥
